Counselling services

Affair Recovery & Trust In Calgary

Rebuild trust and heal your relationship after an affair with intensive affair recovery programs.

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What Is Affair Recovery Counselling?

When betrayal occurs in a relationship, the resulting emotional pain is often difficult to overcome. At Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling, we have helped many individuals and couples find ways to cope with the complexities of the infidelity recovery process.
Woman facepalming at the end of her bed while her husband is sleeping.

The Phases of Healing from an Affair

There are three phases of healing that Melody uses to help couples heal from an affair. They include:

  1. Disclosure phase
  2. Information seeking phase
  3. Reconstruction of the new marriage phase (creating marriage number two)
Husband and wife looking at one another concerned.

Phase 1: Disclosure

The disclosure phase is a time of truth-seeking. It’s essential to tell the truth at this time to avoid further harm and restore the bond of hope for reconnection. It is, therefore, a difficult time to explore pain. However, the truth will set both of you free from the bonds of lies and help you begin to build trust. There are a few essential things to remember during this difficult time.
The unfaithful spouse or partner must disconnect from their affair partner, take full responsibility, avoid defensiveness, make a renewed commitment, and find empathy for the betrayed spouse or partner’s feelings. It can be difficult when an affair is discovered, and defences can rise.
Be careful with how you discuss the affair—the pace and spirit of the conversation can either cause further harm or help heal both the betrayed partner and unfaithful partner. Remember that attacks (“How could you…”) and disqualifying pain (“Why can’t you just get over it?”) can occur. These types of expressions are not helpful. Attending affair-focused couples counselling can help you navigate these difficult conversations. As a clinical psychologist, Melody Evans has helped many couples get through the disclosure phase and start the journey back to the relationship they want.

Phase 2: Information Seeking

What matters the most in terms of healing and rebuilding trust is how the betrayer and the betrayed talk about the affair. For the partner who has been hurt, it’s best to act like a reporter seeking information. Ask questions like who, where, when, how, and why. It’s the why — the reason behind the actions — that matters most. Due to the strong emotions that can occur, the partner who has betrayed needs to ask him or herself the question, “Will knowing this fact help or hurt me?”

Information that increases obsessive thoughts is harmful and should be avoided. If you are the hurt partner, you may need professional help to work through these painful or intrusive thoughts. It’s common for partners who find out about marital infidelity to screen for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Having a therapist like Melody, who is trained in treating these issues, is essential to manage symptoms associated with trauma, such as nightmares or flashbacks.

Affair recovery therapist writing on a clipboard.
Husband and wife smiling while talking to therapist in affair therapy.

Phase 3: Reconstruction Of The New Relationship

The reconstruction of a new relationship starts with creating understanding, trust, communication, and healing. It is where Melody employs an integrated approach of Gottman therapy, solution-focused therapy, systems theory, and sometimes EMDR helps to overcome relationship challenges and rebuild the marriage. She focuses on helping couples:

These are just a few essential healing elements needed to get you back on track in life and your marriage.

Tips To Remember

Our Affair Counselling Services

Melody Evans, our Registered Clinical Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist, provides intensive programs for couples struggling with infidelity. You can book longer affair therapy sessions or attend an intensive to start rebuilding your relationship after infidelity or an emotional affair. At times, deeper issues can occur individually, including substance abuse, sexual addictions, unmet needs, depression, and more. If you believe you or your partner are struggling with personal issues, we can also provide individual therapy.

Two people holding hands after affair counselling.

Our Approach to Infidelity

At Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling, we believe the most important thing to know is that you can save your marriage. Since each person is unique, the work is tailored to the specifics of your marriage. Infidelity is prevalent — more so than most couples want to admit. We do not minimize the damage that infidelity can have on relationships but believe that it is possible to heal and overcome guilt and anger with time. We also offer other therapy services to help improve marital satisfaction, including couples therapy, couples anger management, and family counselling.

Recommended resources

After The Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms Spring Ph.D.

Pamela Meyer: How To Spot A Liar

Contact Us

Contact us to learn more about how our affair recovery services can support the unique needs of your relationship and help you navigate infidelity to rebuild a new relationship.