Counselling services
Solution-Focused Therapy in Calgary Feel Stuck? Focus on What Can Change.
Sometimes people come to therapy feeling as though something must be wrong with them.
They may have spent months—or even years—thinking about everything that is not working.
“I can’t stop worrying.”
“My relationship keeps going in circles.”
“I know what I should do. I can’t seem to do it.”
“I’m exhausted.”
“Nothing I try seems to help.”
When you have lived with a problem for long enough, it can begin to feel permanent. You may start focusing so much on what is going wrong that it becomes difficult to recognize your strengths, the things you are already doing well, or the small moments when the problem has less power over you.
But therapy does not always have to begin by asking:
“What’s wrong with me?”
Sometimes a more helpful question is:
“What would life look like if things were even a little bit better?”
At Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling in Calgary, we often use Solution-Focused Therapy to help individuals and couples identify strengths, clarify what they want to change, notice what is already working, and take realistic steps toward the life or relationship they want.
You Don’t Need to Have Everything Figured Out Before Starting Therapy
Many people delay counselling because they think they need to understand exactly why they feel the way they do before therapy can help.
You don’t.
Comprehending the past can be extremely important, particularly when trauma, attachment injuries, grief, betrayal, or painful relationship experiences continue to affect the present.
But not every concern requires months of analysis before significant change can begin.
Sometimes you already understand the problem.
You may need help figuring out what happens next.
Solution-Focused Therapy can be particularly helpful for people who want therapy that is team-oriented, practical, strength-based, and oriented towards important goals.
You might come to therapy wondering:
- How do I stop feeling so overwhelmed?
- How do I rebuild my confidence?
- How can I stop overthinking everything?
- How do I make an important decision?
- How can we communicate without every conversation becoming an argument?
- How do I move forward after a difficult life transition?
- How do I begin feeling hopeful again?
- How do I get unstuck when I know something needs to change?
These are exactly the kinds of questions that Solution-Focused Therapy can help explore.
What Is Solution-Focused Therapy?
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is a collaborative, goal-oriented therapeutic approach developed by Steve de Shazer, Isoo Kim Berg, and their colleagues at the Brief Family Therapy Center.
Rather than spending most of therapy studying the problem, Solution-Focused Therapy emphasizes your preferred future, existing strengths, resources, past successes, and achievable next steps.
The approach does not assume that your struggles are simple.
It assumes that problems are not the whole story.
Even during difficult periods, anxiety may lessen, communication may improve, motivation may return, you may cope differently, or you may respond in ways that surprise you.
Solution-Focused Therapy pays attention to those moments because they may provide important indications about how change can happen.
Research continues to support SFBT as a legitimate, evidence-based therapeutic approach. Recent reviews have found positive outcomes across a range of settings, with particularly strong evidence for adult depression, overall mental health, and progress toward personally meaningful goals.
Is Solution-Focused Therapy Right for Me?
Solution-Focused Therapy may be worth considering if you feel stuck but still feel something in your life could be different.
You may benefit from this style of therapy if:
- You tend to overthink decisions.
- You feel emotionally exhausted or overwhelmed.
- You have lost confidence in your ability to handle a situation.
- You keep returning to the same problem without finding a way forward.
- You know what you “should” do but cannot seem to put it into action.
- You focus more easily on your failures than your successes.
- You are undergoing a major life change.
- You want help identifying clear and achievable goals.
- You would prefer therapy to feel practical and participative.
- You want to recognize and build upon your existing strengths.
- You feel discouraged and want to begin rebuilding hope.
You don’t have to feel hopeful before you begin.
Sometimes therapy helps you discover reasons for hope that are hard to see when you’re in the middle of the problem.
How Does Solution-Focused Therapy Work?
Solution-Focused Therapy frequently involves a different kind of conversation than people expect from counselling.
Rather than only asking you to explain everything that’s wrong, your therapist may also ask what you want instead.
For example, if you tell us:
“I don’t want to feel anxious all the time,”
we may eventually explore:
“If anxiety were taking up less space in your life, what would you be doing differently?”
If you say:
“We need to stop fighting,”
We may ask:
“What would be happening between the two of you that would tell you your relationship was becoming safer and more connected?”
Those questions help turn difficulty into direction.
The Solution-Focused Therapy Process
Although therapy is always individualized, the process often includes several key elements.
- Clarifying What You Want
Knowing what you do not want matters, but therapy also helps you identify what you would like to experience instead.
Your goals may involve feeling calmer, becoming more confident, having fewer arguments, setting stronger boundaries, making better decisions, rebuilding connection, or simply feeling more like yourself again.
The clearer the destination becomes, the easier it is to identify meaningful steps toward it.
- Looking for Exceptions
Even ongoing problems are rarely present at the same intensity every moment of every day.
We may explore times when:
- The anxiety was less intense.
- You handled difficult conversations differently.
- You felt more bonded to your partner.
- You coped more effectively.
- You felt confident.
- You successfully set a boundary.
- The problem could have become worse—but somehow didn’t.
Such moments are sometimes called exceptions.
They can reveal skills and strengths you may already possess.
- Identifying Strengths and Resources
People frequently arrive at counselling with an extensive list of what they believe they are doing wrong.
We also want to know what has helped you survive, adapt, persist, care for others, solve problems, or keep moving forward.
Those strengths matter.
Therapy is not simply about correcting weaknesses. It can also involve learning how to use the abilities you already have more intentionally.
- Creating Achievable Steps
Large problems often become overwhelming because the distance between where you are and where you want to be feels enormous.
Solution-Focused Therapy breaks change into achievable steps.
Instead of asking:
“How do I fix my entire life?”
We may ask:
“What is one small change that would tell you things are beginning to move in the right direction?”
Small changes can create m
- Noticing Progress
One central idea in Solution-Focused Therapy is that progress deserves attention.
When something improves, even slightly, we want to understand:
What changed?
What did you do differently?
What helped?
How can we help that happen again?
Recognizing progress helps build confidence and strengthens your sense that change may actually be possible.
What Are Scaling Questions?
One common Solution-Focused Therapy technique is the use of scaling questions.
For example:
“On a scale from 0 to 10, where 10 represents feeling confident that you can handle this situation and 0 represents having no confidence at all, where would you place yourself today?”
If your answer is four, the therapist may not immediately ask:
“Why aren’t you at a ten?”
Instead, we might ask:
“What are you already doing that has helped you reach a four instead of a two?”
And then:
“What might a five look like?”
This slight change can help you recognize existing resources while identifying the next realistic step.
What Is the “Miracle Question”?
Another well-known Solution-Focused technique involves imagining your preferred future.
You may be invited to consider something such as:
If you woke up tomorrow and the problem that brought you to therapy was significantly better, what would be the first small thing you would notice?
Would you get out of bed differently?
Would you speak differently to your partner?
Would your body feel calmer?
Would you stop checking something repeatedly?
Would you make decisions you have been avoiding?
Would someone close to you notice something different?
The purpose is not fantasy.
It helps translate a vague goal such as “I just want to feel better” into observable changes that therapy can work toward.
Can Solution-Focused Therapy Help with Anxiety?
Solution-Focused Therapy may be helpful for some people experiencing anxiety, particularly when anxiety has led to avoidance, loss of confidence, excessive focus on what might go wrong, or difficulty recognizing successful coping.
Therapy may help you identify:
- Situations you already manage successfully.
- Times anxiety is less intense.
- Coping strategies you are already using.
- Strengths that anxiety has caused you to overlook.
- Small behavioural changes that build confidence.
- What a calmer and more manageable life would look like.
Depending on the nature and severity of your anxiety, Solution-Focused Therapy may also be combined with approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), exposure-based strategies, EMDR Therapy, or other appropriate interventions.
Solution-Focused Therapy for Couples
Solution-Focused principles can also be useful in couples counselling.
When couples are distressed, conversations can become almost entirely organized around what each partner is doing wrong.
“You never listen.”
“You always get defensive.”
“Nothing changes.”
“Why should I keep trying?
There are certainly times when painful experiences, betrayal, attachment injuries, trauma, or destructive relationship patterns need to be addressed directly.
But couples may also benefit from discovering what happens during the moments when their relationship does work.
We may explore questions such as:
- When do conversations get better?
- When do you feel most connected?
- What does your partner do that helps you feel appreciated?
- What were you doing differently during better periods in your relationship?
- What would improving your relationship by just 10% look like?
- What small change could each partner make this week?
This can help couples move from repeatedly describing the problem toward building a shared picture of the relationship they want to create.
At Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling, Solution-Focused strategies may be integrated with other relationship approaches when appropriate.
Solution-Focused Therapy and Trauma
Solution-Focused Therapy can be trauma-informed, but being trauma-informed entails recognizing that not every problem should be redirected toward the positive.
Some experiences need to be witnessed, understood, processed, and healed.
If you have experienced trauma, betrayal, attachment injuries, abuse, complicated grief, or other painful experiences that continue to activate your nervous system, focusing only on solutions may not be enough.
In these situations, we may combine strength-based and solution-oriented work with therapies designed to address deeper emotional experiences.
The goal is not to force you to “look on the bright side.”
The goal is to understand what you need.
Can Solution-Focused Therapy Be Combined With EMDR?
Yes.
Solution-Focused Therapy and EMDR Therapy can complement one another when clinically appropriate.
For example, Solution-Focused Therapy may help clarify:
- What you hope will be different after trauma treatment.
- What strengths and resources you already possess.
- What changes you have begun noticing.
- What life might look like when the traumatic experience has less influence over the present.
EMDR may then be used when distressing experiences continue to feel emotionally unresolved or are being triggered in ways that interfere with your current life or relationships.
This allows therapy to address both:
Where you have been
and
where you want to go.
Solution-Focused Therapy and CBT
Solution-Focused Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) are both practical and goal-oriented, but they create change differently.
CBT often examines the relationship among thoughts, emotions, and behaviours and helps clients identify and modify patterns that contribute to distress.
Solution-Focused Therapy places greater emphasis on:
- Your preferred future.
- Existing strengths.
- Previous successes.
- Exceptions to the problem.
- Small signs of progress.
- Feasible next steps.
They do not have to be either-or approaches.
Depending on your needs, you may integrate aspects of both into therapy.
Does Solution-Focused Therapy Ignore the Past?
No.
Solution-Focused Therapy does not require pretending that the past does not matter.
The difference is that the past is explored purposefully, not automatically.
Sometimes understanding your history is essential.
Other times, repeatedly revisiting a problem’s history does not create significant change.
A Solution-Focused therapist may therefore focus on parts of your history that reveal resilience.
For example:
- How did you get through another difficult period?
- When have you solved a similar problem before?
- Who has supported you?
- What strengths did you rely on?
- When has the problem had less control over your life?
Your history contains more than your pain.
It also shows how you have survived.
What Are the Benefits of Solution-Focused Therapy?
Depending on your concerns and goals, Solution-Focused Therapy may help you develop:
- Greater hope.
- Increased confidence.
- Clearer goals.
- A stronger sense of direction.
- Recognition of existing strengths.
- Less overwhelm.
- Enhanced problem-solving.
- Greater awareness of progress.
- More effective communication.
- A stronger sense of personal agency.
Perhaps most importantly, it can help shift the internal conversation from:
“Why am I like this?”
toward:
“What would I like to be different, and what is the next step?”
Is Solution-Focused Therapy Really Evidence-Based?
Yes. Researchers have studied Solution-Focused Brief Therapy internationally across clinical, community, educational, and health settings.
A recent umbrella review examining multiple existing reviews and meta-analyses found positive effects across several problems and settings, with high confidence in evidence supporting adult depression, overall mental health, and progress toward individual goals. Other research has also reported positive outcomes across behavioural health, family functioning, and psychosocial measures.
The Solution Focused Brief Therapy Association also publishes treatment manuals and maintains resources summarizing SFBT research and clinical practice.
No therapy works equally well for every person or every concern, so your treatment plan should be based on your individual needs rather than simply choosing a therapy by name.
My Clinical Approach
At Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling, therapy is not about forcing every client into one therapeutic model.
Solution-Focused Therapy is one of several approaches we may incorporate into treatment, depending on what you are experiencing and what you want therapy to accomplish.
When clinically appropriate, Solution-Focused strategies may be integrated with approaches such as:
EMDR Therapy
For distressing or traumatic experiences that continue to affect emotions, beliefs, relationships, or the nervous system.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
For couples experiencing conflict, communication difficulties, emotional disconnection, trust concerns, or relationship distress.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
To understand and change patterns among thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.
Attachment-Focused Therapy
For learning relationship patterns, emotional needs, attachment injuries, and difficulties with emotional safety.
Trauma-Informed Therapy
For guaranteeing that therapy proceeds with attention to emotional safety, choice, pacing, and the effects of trauma.
The question is not:
“Which therapy do I have to fit into?”
The more important question is:
“What approach—or combination of approaches—is most appropriate for what I am experiencing?”
Lessons From Melody’s Therapy Room
One of the greatest privileges of my work is witnessing the moment when someone begins to realize they may not be as powerless as they once believed.
When people have struggled for a long time, they naturally become experts on their problems.
They know every way the relationship can go wrong.
Any reason the anxiety could return.
Every mistake they have made.
Every attempt that failed.
But they may have stopped noticing something equally important:
the moments when they cope.
The conversations that go a little better.
The boundary they finally held.
The morning they got out of bed when they did not feel like it.
The anxious thought they did not follow.
The disagreement that did not become a fight.
The decision they finally made.
Substantial change does not always begin with a dramatic breakthrough.
Sometimes it begins with noticing:
“Something was different this time.”
Then therapy becomes curious about why.
Because when we discover what is already helping, we have something to build upon.
And sometimes that is where expectation begins.
Frequently Asked Questions About Solution-Focused Therapy in Calgary
What is Solution-Focused Therapy?
Solution-Focused Brief Therapy is a collaborative, strength-based, goal-oriented therapeutic approach that helps people clarify what they want to change, identify existing strengths and resources, recognize exceptions to problems, and develop realistic next steps.
Is Solution-Focused Therapy the same as positive thinking?
No.
Solution-Focused Therapy does not ask you to deny difficulties, pretend everything is fine, or replace painful emotions with positive thoughts.
Your struggles are taken seriously.
The approach recognizes that understanding a problem and building a solution are not always the same process.
How is Solution-Focused Therapy different from CBT?
CBT typically focuses on identifying and changing patterns among thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.
Solution-Focused Therapy focuses more strongly on goals, strengths, exceptions to problems, successful coping and your preferred future.
Depending on your needs, you can integrate the two approaches.
Can Solution-Focused Therapy help with anxiety?
It may be helpful for some people experiencing anxiety, particularly when therapy involves increasing confidence, noticing successful coping, decreasing avoidance and identifying manageable behavioral changes.
Other evidence-based approaches may also be incorporated depending on your symptoms and individual needs.
Can couples use Solution-Focused Therapy?
Yes.
Solution-Focused strategies may help couples recognize times when their relationship functions better, clarify joint goals and identify small changes that improve communication and connection.
For more complex relationship concerns, Solution-Focused interventions may be integrated with specialized couple’s therapy.
Does Solution-Focused Therapy ignore childhood or the past?
No.
You can absolutely discuss your past when it helps us understand or address what is happening now.
Solution-Focused Therapy does not assume that every concern requires in-depth exploration of the past before present-day change can begin.
Is Solution-Focused Therapy trauma-informed?
It can be practiced within a trauma-informed framework.
At Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling, treatment considers your history, emotional safety, nervous-system responses, readiness, and therapeutic goals.
When unresolved trauma needs more direct treatment, other approaches such as EMDR Therapy may be recommended or integrated.
Can Solution-Focused Therapy be combined with EMDR?
Yes.
Solution-Focused approaches can help clarify goals, resources and desired changes, while EMDR can address distressing experiences that continue to feel emotionally unresolved.
The combination used will depend on your individual treatment needs.
Can Solution-Focused Therapy help with burnout?
It may help people experiencing stress and burnout define priorities, recognize existing resources, establish boundaries and identify practical changes that make life appear more manageable.
Your therapist will also assess whether other factors need attention.
How many sessions of Solution-Focused Therapy will I need?
There is no universal number.
Although the model is called Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, “brief” does not mean that every concern should be resolved within a predetermined number of appointments.
Some people seek help with focused concerns and attend relatively few sessions. Others benefit from longer therapy or from combining Solution-Focused work with other approaches.
Your treatment should be guided by your needs, not a fixed number of sessions.
What happened during my first therapy session?
Your therapist will usually begin by learning more about:
- What brought you to counselling.
- What you would like to change.
- What you have already tried.
- Your strengths and existing support.
- Relevant history.
- What successful therapy would look like for you.
From there, you and your therapist can begin developing a collaborative treatment plan.
Will I have homework?
Sometimes.
Rather than traditional homework, you may be invited to notice when something goes better, practice a strategy, experiment with a small change, or pay attention to moments when the problem has less influence.
Is Solution-Focused Therapy available virtually?
Yes. Virtual psychological and counselling services are available for appropriate clients throughout Alberta.
Do you provide Solution-Focused Therapy in Calgary?
Yes.
Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling serves clients in Calgary and surrounding communities, including Airdrie, Cochrane, Chestermere, Okotoks and surrounding areas, as well as eligible clients virtually throughout Alberta.
You Are More Than the Problem That Brought You to Therapy
When you have been struggling for months or years, the problem can begin to feel like your identity.
Anxiety becomes:
“I’m an anxious person.”
Relationship conflict becomes:
“We’re just a dysfunctional couple.”
A difficult period becomes:
“I can’t cope anymore.”
Solution-Focused Therapy offers another perspective.
The problem is real.
But it is not the whole story.
Strengths, resources, relationships, values, skills, and moments of fortitude may also be there, but they can be hard to see.
Therapy can help you find them again.
You do not need to solve everything today.
Sometimes the most important question is:
“What would one small step forward look like?”
Solution-Focused Therapy in Calgary at Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling
If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, you don’t have to figure everything out on your own.
At Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling, we help individuals and couples understand what is getting in the way while identifying strengths, possibilities, and practical steps toward meaningful change.
Depending on your needs, therapy may include Solution-Focused Therapy alone or integrate it with approaches such as EMDR Therapy, CBT, attachment-focused therapy, trauma-informed therapy, or Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Please reach out to us at Can’t We Just Get Along Counselling to learn more or book an initial consultation.
Sometimes change begins before you fully understand the problem.
Sometimes it begins when you start noticing what is possible.
